The Subway Series game is currently in the middle of a rain delay (although, given the fact that the score is 4-0 Mets, I’m more than happy for them to call the game and give us the win) so I figured, with my unexpected free time, that this is the perfect opportunity to jot down some of my impressions vis-à-vis the past month or so of baseball. To those of you who were hoping for some schizophrenic ramblings (if any of you even exist), my apologies. We’re strictly business today.
The New York Mets; or, Veni, Vidi, Vici
It’s hard to accurately describe the optimism I feel about this team at the moment. If you remember, in my last article I lambasted the sudden decline in, well, every aspect of the team’s performance and was ready to write the season off as yet another 2023-esque affair. And I wasn’t the only one!
Shortly after Volume II had been published, I was sitting in the waiting room of my chiropractor’s office (yes, I have a bad back) making idle chit-chat with the bubbly receptionist, a middle-aged woman named Elizabeth. She saw that I was wearing a Mets cap and our conversation quickly turned to the team’s season thus far. After elucidating my complaints about the ice-cold offense, the complete and utter lack of a bullpen and my disappointment in the starting rotation, she began to tell me an anecdote about the Mets’ front office’s feelings. Apparently, one of her friends, who happens to work as an event planner on the South Fork, was supervising the setup of a large party at someone’s oceanfront mansion when she found herself standing next to Steve Cohen himself (whether he was simply a party-goer or the thrower of said party, I don’t know). Long story short, she was asking Stevie Boy about the plan for the rest of the season, to which he replied with a sardonic grin “maybe just wait until next year.”
This confirmed my worst suspicions. If the owner of the team had already written off the 2024 season, why should I have any hope in the team? Fast-forward a month, however, and things couldn’t be looking better.
Let’s recap. When Volume II was published, the Mets were 21-27 – six games back from a Wild Card berth – and the team slash line was .236/.308/.365. As of today (assuming they end up beating the Yankees), they’re 39-39, only one game back from a wild card berth. Of their past 13 games, the team is 11-2. Since the start of this streak, the team has been slashing .291/.361/.510. It seems as though every player has been on fire offensively; Francisco Alvarez has been batting .368 over the past 13 games, Brandon Nimmo’s been batting .338, Francisco Lindor’s been batting .297, Professional Hitter J.D. Martinez has been batting .290, even Harrison Bader has been batting .280. In 13 games, the team has hit 31 home runs (even more impressive when you take into account the fact that Manfred is trying to send us into another Dead Ball Era — no, I will not elaborate on this). All in all, this has been an incredibly successful couple of weeks. This team is reminding me more and more every day of the 2022 team. On top of everything, they seem to be having a hell of a lot of fun.
To what, if anything, do we owe this sudden surge in at-bat productivity? I have a few theories. On May 29, after getting swept by the Dodgers, unofficial team captain (goddammit, can we get the “C” on his uniform already? He more than deserves it) Francisco Lindor called a team meeting. No press, just the players. Details about what exactly went on behind the closed doors are still vague, but different sources have stated that the primary topic was accountability; not just for your teammates, but for yourself as well. Whatever happened seems to have turned the Mets’ season around for the better.
Oh hey, the rain delay is over! Time to relegate my writing to the commercial breaks.
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It’s now 7-0 at the end of the fifth.
Another source of change has been the return of the young catcher Francisco “El Troll” Alvarez. He’s only 22 years old but, in my entirely uneducated opinion, the confidence he plays with and the effect he has on the team is comparable to that of a 35-year-old veteran. The team is 22-8 when he catches. He’s incredible at framing. Balls don’t get past him. His vibes are off-the-charts. Yet another much-needed injection into the veins of the team is Mark Vientos, who was called up around mid-May to replace the exhausting Brett Baty. His slash line for the year? .297/.349/.576. On top of that, he already has a slew of defensive highlights under his belt (not an innuendo).
On a more superstitious note, the start of the Mets’ hot streak was marked by Grimace, the McDonalds mascot, throwing out the ceremonial first pitch. Since then, he’s become the unofficial mascot of the team, with Grimace costumes, shirts and body paint a common sight at Citi Field. Furthermore, the blessings of LGBTQ ally Mark Canha continue to rain down on the Mets throughout Pride Month, as the team is 15-6 since June 1st.
Shocker, Aaron Judge hit a completely useless two-run home run. Has this man ever hit a clutch bomb in his life? 7-2, Mets.
This all being said, there are still some weak spots in the Mets’ roster that I’d like to see at least somewhat rectified by the trade deadline. Jeff McNeil, who has been truly abysmal after winning a batting title in 2022 (he’s currently batting .216 for the season), should be auctioned off for scraps. Pete Alonso, as much as it pains me to say it, should probably go as well. I’d feel a lot more comfortable with a few more solid bullpen guys and maybe one more starter, especially given how volatile guys like Diaz, Ottavino and Garrett have been.
Looking even further ahead, Luis Severino, J.D. Martinez and Harrison Bader should all have their contracts extended and Juan Soto should come on over to Queens. I know he wants to.
Oh my goodness, Tyrone Taylor with a three-run homer! Good golly Miss Molly! 10-2 at the bottom of the sixth.
The New York Yankees; or, The Decline and Fall of the Steinbrenner Empire
I’ve been saying since the beginning of the season that I don’t think the Yankees are all that and a bag of potato chips, and now, towards the end of June, the cracks are finally beginning to show. Yes, yes, I know Judge and Soto are good, but the rest of the lineup is genuine dogshit. Do you really think a team with Alex “GIDP” Verdugo, Oswaldo “Mr. .237” Cabrera and Giancarlo “My Bat is Too Short” Stanton is a winning team? Get real. Yes, yes, I know their pitching has been good, but Gil’s starting to inevitably fall apart, Cy Young winner and part-time weasel Gerrit Cole couldn’t get a single strikeout against the Mets last night, and Marcus Stroman is, well, Marcus Stroman. Need I say more?
On June 14th, during his first his first at-bat against the Red Sox since he was traded away, Alex Verdugo hit a home run, excessively celebrating as he rounded the bases as if the Sox were some kind of ontologically evil Goliath that he had just slain. Since then, he’s gotten four hits in 35 at-bats. I know schadenfreude is petty and should be beneath me, but it’s not. Fuck you Alex Verdugo, I hope your army of baseball-illiterate fans turn on you (if they haven’t begun to do so already).
The bottom line is that the remainder of the Yankees’ season hinges on a lot of “ifs.” If Aaron Judge stays healthy. If Gerrit Cole can figure his shit out and return to 2023 form. If Volpe stays hot. If Gil, Stroman and Cortes continue to pitch well. If the rest of the order can figure out how to hit the ball. Only if all of these “ifs” are fulfilled do the Yankees have a serious shot at postseason success (the same, of course, can be said for just about every team. Fuck you. I don’t care). But, and I’m calling it now, they will drop out of their first place slot (the Orioles usurping them) and, with any luck, fall behind the Red Sox.
The Boston Red Sox; or, Thalatta! Thalatta!
The Red Sox are, in many ways, the opposite of the Yankees. The Yankees are a team with little talent and a lot of luck (so far, at least) while the Red Sox are a team with a lot of talent who, until recently, haven’t had the greatest luck. With a good chunk of their star players on the IL for the past few months, the team has hovered around .500 for most of their season. Now that the injured players have been steadily trickling back into the lineup, however, the Sox have steadily risen to their current zenith: six games over .500 and holding onto the third AL wildcard berth.
No less than five players are batting over .280 for the season (Wong, Refsnyder, Duran, Devers, Hamilton) with catcher Connor Wong batting .330 (!?). Their starting rotation ranks fourth in the major leagues for ERA+ (120). The outfield has been making some of the best catches I’ve seen of any team all season. Above all else, this team has fight. Their game against the Blue Jays on Monday saw them down by four in the seventh after Vlad Jr. hit an absolute bomb off of Isaiah Campbell (something like 480 feet). Nevertheless, they persisted, coming back to walk it off on a Jarren Duran single.
This leads me to my next point. I could easily write a lengthy hagiography on Jarren Duran (who has quickly become one of my favorite current players), but I decided to keep it brief and spare you all from the boredom. It is hard to articulate how much love I have for this player. Two years ago, it seemed as though Jarren Duran was the laughingstock of the AL, known for, above all else, his cringe-inducing errors in centerfield. But, and David could probably explain this better than I, he has steadily grown into an above-average defender and a menace on the basepaths, turning routine doubles into triples (he leads Major League Baseball in this category) and stealing bases seemingly at will. Furthermore, he is one of the most vocal current players about the importance of mental health, acknowledging the role it plays in your game-to-game performance (which is 100% true). I would not be surprised if he became the face of the Red Sox in the next few years, a role he truly deserves. I’m not even an avid Sox fan and I’m planning on buying his jersey once Fanatics (hopefully) fixes everything next season.
Speed Round
Normally I’d devote a lengthy section to the Oakland Athletics, but there’s not much to say here. They stink, plain and simple. Rooksanity is over. Mason Miller’s been great but rarely gets the chance to come in due to the complete stagnancy of the offense. They’re currently 29-54, so thanks John.
The Braves haven’t been so good. Maybe Acuña getting injured was the cherry on top of an already-precarious season. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they’re terrible or anything, but keep an eye on them over the next few months, as I wouldn’t be surprised if they continued to slip and slide lower in the rankings.
The Orioles are a fun team, especially when they beat the Yankees. It looks like the Home Run King this season will be either Judge, Ohtani, or Orioles shortstop Gunnar Henderson, which is mildly exciting.
The Phillies are very very good but I can’t seem to muster up much enthusiasm about them. Sorry?
Boy, the Cubs stink! What a fall from grace! Craig Counsell has a dumb batting stance! They desperately need relievers, so expect possibly big things from them come the trade deadline.
The White Sox are trying their hardest to emulate the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, which must suck for the fans.
Fuck the Astros.
I like the Brewers! Why? I guess because Mark Canha briefly played there.
Oh, right. The Dodgers. Yawn. Mookie fractured a bone in his hand after getting hit by a pitch a few weeks ago, which makes the team a hell of a lot less interesting. Yes, Shohei’s been good, but I’m kind of over him post-gambling scandal. I do like Andy Pages, though!
The Padres are a fun team. Two nights ago Jurickson Profar walked it off against the Nats. The next day, he was very-obviously intentionally hit by a pitch during his first at-bat of the game. His next at-bat? He hits a grand slam. That’s badass, I’m sorry.
Some Final Thoughts on All-Star-Voting
At risk of sounding somewhat fascistic, we need to strip the average person of their voting rights for the All-Star Game. It’s basically a popularity contest, not “who’s actually been playing the best so far this year.” Your average baseball fan, I’m starting to realize, has no clue what the fuck they’re talking about most of the time and as such should not have any kind of say in who gets to be deemed an All-Star. I fully recognize the fact that much of this tirade is stemming from my own personal biases (goddammit, Jarren Duran and Connor Wong deserve to be All-Stars!), but there is at least some truth in what I’m saying, no?
Oh hey, the Mets beat the Yankees. Final score: 12-2. Awesome!
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